


feeling takes you hostage

by Anonymous



Category: Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Anakin Skywalker Needs a Hug, Hurt/Comfort, Imagine that, M/M, anakin and padme were never married bc padme said no, and he gets one! imagine, mostly just anakin and obi-wan speaking actual words to each other!, so no infidelity here!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-16
Updated: 2020-01-16
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:53:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22275907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: While Obi-Wan and Anakin are on a mission, General Grievous tries to threaten Anakin by threatening his "wife" Padme - but Anakin and Padme aren't actually married. After Anakin is hurt and nearly killed, he has to clean up the mess the dark side has made by revealing to Obi-Wan a marriage that never really occurred.Set pre-ROTS and mostly in the movieverse.
Relationships: Obi-Wan Kenobi/Anakin Skywalker
Comments: 18
Kudos: 447
Collections: Anonymous





	feeling takes you hostage

Anakin loves to fly - and as much as he loves it, Obi-Wan hates it. This is something Anakin has known for years. Every time one of them has to pilot a ship, the only reason Obi-Wan ever chooses to do it is because he always says that Anakin is a reckless flier. Reckless or not, Anakin knows he’s good, but he also knows that Obi-Wan simply doesn’t enjoy any kind of evasive maneuver or complicated flying - anything fun, Anakin would argue.

At least he hadn’t enjoyed it for nearly the entire time Anakin had known him.

Then comes their latest mission, and their need to commandeer a ship in the midst of a battle. Nearly everything they fly in a battle or on a mission is dispensable, and with the exception of major battle ships, both of them change what they’re flying constantly. It’s typical for them to land in one thing and fly out in another.

This time, they landed safely on Kashyyyk, but then they’d gotten separated from their ships, ended up on a Separtist carrier, and now they’re flying out on a landing craft. The ship is big enough to carry both of them, the jedi hostages, and R2, as well as some droid stowaways that the other jedi are still currently taking care of.

Anakin and Obi-Wan have been left to pilot the ship, with Anakin taking on the brunt of it, because he knows he can easily fly anything - and at this point Obi-Wan seems to agree with him.

“Lovely to be flying out on something that isn’t crashing for once,” Obi-Wan says, settling into one of the other seats on the bridge.

“I wouldn’t say that until we’re back on the ground in Kashyyyk, Master.”

“No need to be such a pessimist, Anakin.”

Anakin laughs, but when he looks over, he’s surprised to find Obi-Wan smiling back at him.

Things have changed in their time in the Clone Wars together. Ever since Anakin finally became a Jedi Knight, Obi-Wan has treated him more as an equal. Now they’re constantly on missions together, fighting their way across the galaxy, back to back. More than ever, they’re a team rather than a teacher and a student. Anakin had hoped it might mean he would get to know his master better, to understand him - but Obi-Wan still seems distant much of the time. Anakin often wonders if he’ll ever know his master’s true feelings on anything.

This, though, is happening more and more frequently - Obi-Wan smiling at one of his jokes, making his quips less disapproving, seeming less and less apprehensive about Anakin’s recklessness.

In this case, Anakin can’t allow himself to get distracted while he still has a ship to fly - and if he flies a little fancier than he needs to, just to show off, everyone else probably just thinks it’s typical of him.

They land back on Kashyyyk safely, though not without taking some blaster damage and having a bit of a rough landing after all.

Still, as they come scorching to a stop, Obi-Wan laughs and looks over at Anakin. “Well, another fantastic landing, Anakin,” he says, and he stands and walks over to place a hand on Anakin’s shoulder.

Anakin grins up at him. “You almost sound like you’re having fun. I thought you hated flying, Master.”

“I hate the way you do it,” Obi-Wan tells him, still smiling.

“Are Jedi allowed to have fun?”

“I think you have enough of it for all of us.” It’s obvious, though, that he’s still teasing. His hand is warm on Anakin’s shoulder, even through his robe and tunic. Besides that, Obi-Wan’s hair is mussed, falling in his eyes, and his smile lights up his entire face. His eyes are bright, the blue in them evident in the light of the cockpit.

As Anakin’s heart rate quickens, he stands up and moves out from underneath Obi-Wan’s touch. “Maybe I should let Master Windu and Master Yoda have a chance, then.”

Obi-Wan laughs at that, too - actually laughs, again. “I won’t tell them you said that.”

With that, the two of them have to make their way back out onto Kashyyyk, to reconvene with the Wookie leaders and return to their own ships and see if they’re needed for another mission by the Jedi Council.

Anakin’s mind stays on Obi-Wan’s laughter, though. The way his face lit up when he smiled, and the way his hand felt on Anakin’s shoulder. When he was still a padawan, Anakin had developed feelings for Obi-Wan. He’d had no one to ask about it, but assumed that working in such close proximity must have made it fairly common. Beyond that, he knew it was unacceptable. Even if some Jedi managed to balance some level of attachment with their commitment to the council, he knew that his Master would never find it acceptable.

Fortunately, Anakin had found Padmé again. But after the Clone Wars had begun in earnest, the two of them had agreed to only be in touch when Anakin was in Coruscant - and the arrangement made Anakin glad, sometimes, that Padme had not agreed to marry him.

He hated to think of it that way - but they’d both been so young when they met again, and their time together had been a whirlwind. The Clone Wars have only been a few years of Anakin’s life so far, but he’s beginning to realize how much he’s changed. He still cares for Padmé, deeply, and he’s glad to see her when he can, but she is no longer the only person he’s ever cared for. He can see that more clearly with the distance the war has forced him into.

No one could describe Anakin as level-headed even at his best, and he’s self-aware enough to recognize that. Still, he likes to think that with Obi-Wan’s help, he’s matured in his rise to Jedi Knighthood, and he’s learned some level of patience and peace that he didn’t have before the war. In that regard, he feels he’s gained clarity, too, and a better understanding of the Jedi teachings. Anakin’s marriage proposal could have put her in danger - and they didn’t need to marry to love one another. Those had been her words at the time - and now he understands that she was right. Her age and her maturity had given her knowledge above Anakin, though he’d refused to admit it at the time.

He’s never told Obi-Wan any of what happened. He knows it wouldn’t go over well.

Padmé chastises him sometimes for the way he closes himself off to everyone other than her - but that’s simply the life of a Jedi. He must learn to close himself off, to move past his emotions, to meditate through them - even though he still despises meditating.

He’s glad to see Obi-Wan beginning to change in some ways - and he hopes that he may open up. In the meantime, Anakin keeps himself closed off, too wary of what his Master might see, still over-aware of how right the Council is about his own excessive passion.

When they do reach their ships, the Council finally calls them back to Coruscant - they are safe to return, at least temporarily. Anakin will be able to see Padmé, to tune up R2, and to relax, at least for a day or two. He looks forward to the respite.

They’re still in hyperspeed when they get the call - and both of them drop out, somewhere on the edge of the Coruscant system, before they’ve reached the planet.

It’s Master Windu.

“Master Kenobi, Skywalker, I’m afraid your rest won’t come just yet.”

Anakin sighs, but it’s hardly a surprise. This has been what’s kept them from the Temple so long already - they’re a good team, and they’re needed in the war. It feels like they’ve been fighting non-stop for months, because they have.

“The Separatists, led by Grievous, are attempting to move on the planets on the outer edge of the Coruscant system, and we can’t have them getting that close. We need you to land on Vandor-1 and see if you can scare them off. We’ll be sending you some backup, but you’ll be the leading party.”

“Aren’t we always?” Anakin asks.

“On your orders, Master Windu,” Obi-Wan says quickly, trying to end the call before Anakin says anything else.

“Yes, as Master Obi-Wan says. May the force be with you, Master Windu,” Anakin says, trying not to let his displeasure bleed into his words.

With that, Master Windu abruptly ends the call.

“Anakin, I know you want to be a Jedi Master. Being so terse with Master Windu is hardly the way.”

“He’s never liked me anyways, Master, you know that,” Anakin says over the comms.

Obi-Wan simply sighs, and they both take a moment to redirect their coordinates to land on Vandor-1.

“What could the Separatists want with Vandor-1? There’s nothing there.” Anakin says, changing the subject.

“I don’t know, Anakin. From everything I know, it’s a horrible, barren place. Maybe it’s as simple as Master Windu implies, and they want a stronghold closer to Coruscant.”

“I guess we’ll find out.”

When they land on Vandor-1, Anakin discovers just what Obi-Wan meant. The planet is rocky and cold, mountains and ice and not a sign of life to be found. Even in his jedi tunic and robe, Anakin is shivering - he’s still never gotten used to the cold.

Obi-Wan comes close to him as they both scan the horizon for signs of the Separatists. “Are you alright, Anakin?”

“Just cold, Master. The sooner we can get off this Force-forsaken planet, the better.”

A little smile quirks the corner of Obi-Wan’s mouth, and he takes off his robe and offers it to Anakin. “Here. I’ll be alright.”

“So will I,” Anakin insists, keeping his arms crossed over his chest.

“Anakin, you’re shivering,” Obi-Wan tells him, and he reaches up and drapes his robe over Anakin’s shoulders, rubbing at his arms to try and warm him up. “Don’t be so stubborn.”

“Easy for you to say.”

“Mm, I suppose at the very least it’s repetitive for me to say it, and I should know better by now. But you’re just being silly.”

Anakin opens his mouth to continue bickering, but instead, he senses something, and ducks behind a ship, rolling onto the ground and pulling Obi-Wan with him. A rain of blaster fire goes over their heads.

“Where did that come from?” Obi-Wan asks, pulling out his lightsaber as they both peek around the now-ruined ship.

“Probably over there, Master,” Anakin tells him, gesturing with his head.

There’s a line of droid tanks, edging up over the horizon now. Apparently, just like most of the times they do this, they’ve landed right in the center of a trap.

“Hope that backup’s on the way,” Obi-Wan says as he darts out and starts deflecting the blaster fire with his saber.

Anakin takes his position right at Obi-Wan’s side, and they do what they can to dodge and hold off the tanks. Fortunately, they’re able to force-throw one of the tanks into a few of the others when working together, and they take out most of the fleet before the clone ships come diving in to back them up.

Of course, when Grievous is involved, nothing stays easy.

His ship is grounded nearby, obviously in the midst of repairs, and both of them know if they could keep it from taking off again, they could give the Republic its own time to recover. As a result, they nod at each other in unspoken agreement and split up to make their way inside the ship.

This is a trap, too, but if they split up then each one is more likely to be able to come to the other’s rescue. They have ways of communicating, and they both stay attuned to each other through the force on missions like this.

Obi-Wan stays low on the ship, sabotaging escape pods and baser components. Anakin is left to work his way up higher and maybe even make it to the bridge - but there’s no doubt that Grievous is up there waiting.

Anakin fights his way through a number of clones, climbs up an elevator shaft, and starts to get close to the bridge. He sabotages what he can on the way.

He’s practically right outside the bridge before he senses it - Grievous isn’t in there at all.

Instead, Grievous’ laugh sounds behind him.

“Anakin Skywalker. Always a pleasure to see you again. Another attempt to sabotage my ship?”

Twirling his lightsaber in his hand, Anakin turns. “It just seemed so inviting. How could I resist?”

Grievous laughs again, and it turns into a cough. “I know your master is on this ship as well. Your attempts to pretend you came alone do not serve you, Jedi.”

“It was worth a shot,” Anakin tells him, moving into a more effective fighting stance.

“I think Master Kenobi is, yes. We found him scurrying around the bottom of the ship - I think my droids will take care of him.”

If Obi-Wan were in real danger, Anakin would have sensed it - but the words make him furious, and he acts on instinct, advancing on Grievous to make his first blow.

Grievous blocks him easily, and cackles. “Oh you are full of weaknesses. Count Dooku is right about you. You will truly be the easiest of the Jedi.”

Anakin growls in frustration as he advances again.

Grievous pulls a staff from behind his back and meets Anakin in the middle this time, blocking him more effectively. “And above that - Darth Sidious has perhaps found your greatest weakness. Your wife, the Senator.”

That is, of course, the moment that Obi-Wan comes running into the hallway behind Grievous. He stops in place.

Anakin looks at him, wanting to explain, and Grievous strikes him with the battle droid staff, and electricity flows through Anakin’s body.

He staggers back, and he loses his senses for a moment as Obi-Wan rushes forward, advancing on Grievous.

“Master, no,” Anakin cries out, crawling to his feet and pulling his lightsaber back into his hand.

Grievous doesn’t even turn back to Anakin - he simply moves the staff behind his back and strikes out again. Anakin swings, and misses, still disoriented, and takes another hit.

He keeps his lightsaber in hand this time, and is able to block the staff as Grievous swings at him with another hit.

He struggles to keep enough strength to hold off Grievous’ assault, but he can’t really keep his eyes open, and he’s using more Force energy than he should to keep fighting.

“Anakin, come on,” Obi-Wan calls out, and Anakin gains enough consciousness to grab onto Obi-Wan’s offered hand.

Together, they dodge Grievous’ next assault and fall through a hole in the floor, presumably created by Obi-Wan’s lightsaber.

“Anakin, stay awake,” Obi-Wan says forcefully.

“‘M not married. Just in case. Grievous was wrong, I didn’t get married.”

“Now is hardly the time.”

“I said just in case, Obi-Wan. If- if you have to leave me, you don’t have to try and find anybody. Padmé wouldn’t marry me.”

“Anakin,” Obi-Wan says, but it’s quieter now, softer. “You’re going to be fine.”

“Okay,” Anakin agrees, too tired to argue.

He stumbles as his consciousness starts to fade again, and Obi-Wan catches him easily, arms firm around his waist. As he blacks out completely, he can still feel the scratch of Obi-Wan’s beard against his cheek.

When Anakin wakes up, he’s in a medbay. A real, proper one, all white and sterile, with bacta tanks. He knows as soon as he realizes that somehow they made it back to Coruscant. The reason he kept his scar from the year before was that they hadn’t been able to get him strong enough bacta gel in time to truly heal his injury. Now he feels practically like he was never injured.

He turns and gets off the cot, testing out his legs as he looks around. A medi-droid approaches him and beeps reproachfully.

“I’m feeling fine. Isn’t there anyone who can clear me to leave?”

“I’m guessing that I can,” Padmé says, walking into the room with a smile.

“Padmé!” Anakin exclaims, rushing to greet her with a hug. She holds him tightly, for just a moment, and he realizes how much he’s missed her. Maybe it’s not in the same way he once did - but he’s happy to see her. Delighted, even. “I’m so glad you’re here.”

At that, she whacks him on the shoulder and pulls back. “I can’t believe you almost got yourself killed like that.”

Anakin winces and pulls back, rubbing at his arm. “Ow! That hardly seems fair, Padmé, I’m a Jedi Knight now. It’s my job to go into battle.”

“It isn’t your job to be an idiot. Obi-Wan told me you rushed into that fight with Grievous. You have to be more careful!”

“It’s not my fault they only gave us air backup. And Grievous snuck up on me! Obi-Wan was in a totally different area of the ship, I was doing my best.”

“That’s not the way he tells it.”

Anakin scowls, looking away. “Of course not.” Then, his stomach twists with nerves. “Is he alright? Obi-Wan? He wasn’t hurt, was he?”

Padmé sighs, and gives Anakin a smile. “No, Anakin. He’s perfectly fine. He seems upset, but that’s hardly strange when it comes to you. He had to fly you all the way back, both of you and R2 in that tiny ship.”

“He probably did hate that.” Biting his lip, Anakin looks down, away from Padme. “I need to talk to him.”

“He had to see the Council. He should be out soon.”

“And you-” Anakin looks back up, making eye contact with Padmé, trying to convey his own concern. “Grievous thought we were married. I don’t know how - someone on the Dark side must have heard something, and they must be planning to use it as blackmail somehow. You should - you should be seen with someone else. Publicly, if possible. It might help keep you safe.”

“Anakin,” she says, obviously upset. “Have you told anyone else?”

“Obi-Wan overheard Grievous. I tried to tell him it isn’t true, but I don’t know if he believed me. It’s why I need to talk to him.”

“He didn’t say anything to me,” Padmé says softly. “I think even if it was true, he’d keep your secret. But I do agree you should talk with him. But Anakin - don’t worry about me. I can take care of myself, and I have people like the Organas to help me. I’m safe here on Coruscant, and even safer in Naboo. Even if Dooku tries to kill me again, we’ve gotten out of it once. Just don’t let them use me against you. Okay?”

Looking away again, Anakin sighs and flexes his metal hand, feeling a kind of comfort in the sounds of its machinery - in the knowledge that he faced Dooku once and he was the only one that got hurt. “Alright, Padmé. I’ll try.”

“That’s all I can ask, Ani.” She leans close, and kisses him on the temple. Then she squeezes his hand and turns to leave. “They should let you leave now, if you want to go and find Obi-Wan. I’m sure he’d like to know you’re awake and moving.”

The very idea makes Anakin nervous again. He sits back down, and nods as Padmé leaves the room. “Is she right?” he asks the droid. “Am I good to leave now that I have a Senator’s approval?”

The droid trills in acquiescence, and Anakin sighs, staying seated firmly on the bed. If he gets up he has to go and actually face Obi-Wan. Disappointed, angry Obi-Wan, because Anakin’s done something stupid yet again, and beyond that Obi-Wan probably thinks Anakin’s done something truly forbidden.

Soon, though, the droid starts beeping at him insistently, and Anakin is forced to get out of bed and make his way out of the medbay and back towards the Jedi Temple.

He reaches out with the Force, and he’s able to sense Obi-Wan - he isn’t in the Council room, though. He’s in his quarters.

It isn’t long before Anakin finds him in the hallway, meeting him halfway.

“Anakin,” Obi-Wan says.

Tensing up, Anakin braces for the lecture, for the disappointed looks, for the anger. Instead, Obi-Wan’s arms wrap around his waist and pull him into a hug. Anakin opens his eyes and turns his head, but Obi-Wan isn’t letting go. He’s clinging to Anakin, almost desperately, his face pressed against Anakin’s neck.

Hesitantly, Anakin wraps his own arms around Obi-Wan’s shoulders and returns the embrace. “Master? Are you alright?”

“I hope Padmé was there when you woke up - they told me you might not wake today or- or at all. I knew you were more stubborn than that-”

“It was just a few shocks from a battle droid staff-”

“You were shocked directly in the heart, Anakin. If it weren’t for the strength of your own Force energy, you might have been killed.” Obi-Wan pulls back, then, keeping his hands on Anakin’s shoulders. “We’ve all been worried. Padmé included. I contacted her as soon as we got here.”

“Master, can we go into your quarters to talk? Rather than the hallway?”

At that, Obi-Wan steps back, his face falling into a more neutral expression. “Yes, of course. You’re right.”

Together, they walk into Obi-Wan’s quarters and the door slides shut behind them. They both try to speak simultaneously.

“Anakin, I know you said-”

“Master, I know you don’t-”

Both of them stop, and Obi-Wan nods. “You go ahead, Anakin. I’m sure you’re tired of me talking.”

Anakin sighs and sits down, taking the opportunity to avoid Obi-Wan’s gaze. “No. I’ve probably earned the lecture this time. I just want you to know everything before you start. I wasn’t lying to you on Vandor-1. Padmé and I aren’t together. I know that attachment is forbidden - I won’t say we were never together, I’d be lying to you, and I won’t try to say I didn’t ask her to marry me - but I was younger, then. She said no, and ever since the war started, we’ve only been friends. I don’t - I don’t know how someone found out about us. I still see her, visit her, when I’m here in Coruscant or on Naboo, depending on where she is, but we aren’t married. I haven’t done anything forbidden in a long time. I’ve tried - I’ve tried so hard to listen to you, Master, and to the Council, because I know that you’re right. I’m- hasty and passionate and I let it get the better of me. If I were as good at this as you are, I wouldn’t have gotten hurt on Vandor-1 - I would have been patient, and made sure you weren’t in danger. I would have known Grievous was lying. I acted on instinct instead, and it’s all my fault. You’re right to be disappointed in me.”

Even as Anakin bares his soul, he doesn’t know what to expect in response.

He certainly doesn’t expect Obi-Wan to sit down beside him. “Is that what you think, Anakin? You think I’m disappointed in you?”

“You’d have every right to be, Master. Sometimes I don’t think they’ll ever make me a Master. I try not to get angry about it - but it’s frustrating. I feel things I shouldn’t. I say things I shouldn’t. I do things I shouldn’t.”

Obi-Wan sighs and places his hand on Anakin’s back. “I have failed you, I believe, Anakin, in spite of my best efforts.”

At that, Anakin’s head snaps up, and he frowns. Obi-Wan is obviously being genuine, and it makes Anakin angry all over again. “Don’t say that. You’ve been the best Master I could have had, you’re the only way I’ve gotten this far. If it wasn’t for you I probably would have dropped out of the Order - or never gotten in in the first place. No one else would have trained me.”

“Qui-Gonn would have, if he had lived. And perhaps if he had lived, he would have been strong enough to be more honest with you - to defy the Council when he needed to. I wonder, often, if it would have been better if he had been the one that lived.”

Reaching out, Anakin grabs Obi-Wan’s arm, the one part he can reach and hold without feeling like he’s overstepping somehow. “How can you think that? I didn’t even - aren’t you supposed to meditate on things like that? Let them go?”

“That’s precisely my point, Anakin. I may be a Jedi Master, but that doesn’t mean I’m perfect. None of us are. All of us feel things. Do things we shouldn’t. We strive to achieve the Code, to uphold it, because we believe in the principles behind it. I wanted to be a good teacher for you, and in the process I feel I’ve made everything worse. I was just so worried that if I couldn’t provide a good example for you, you’d think what the Council asked of you was completely impossible. I didn’t want you to disregard them completely. But - Qui Gonn would probably have said that you have to know the rules in order to know when to break them.”

In some ways, what Obi-Wan says shakes the very foundations of what Anakin has been taught. In other ways - it allows him to realize that he’s been right in noticing that Obi-Wan has been different. He pushes boundaries, too, with the Council, now that Anakin is older and doing well on his own. He’s allowed himself greater flexibility now that he feels less like he is Anakin’s only example.

“Have you done anything forbidden, then?” Anakin asks him.

“Yes, Anakin. I think nearly all of us have, at some point or another - save perhaps, Master Yoda.”

Obi-Wan’s tone is joking, but Anakin pulls his own hands back into his lap regardless. There’s a kind of sinking pit in his stomach. For as foolish as it is, it was always some kind of comfort to think that Obi-Wan was somehow above feelings and attachment. Now Anakin has to face the possibility that Obi-Wan has loved, and is capable, and still won’t return Anakin’s feelings. He stays quiet.

“Anakin, I - if you wanted to return to Padmé. If you wanted to begin your relationship with her again, I wouldn’t report you to the Council. It’s obvious she still cares for you, and you for her.”

Anakin shakes his head. “No, Master. Even if it wasn’t forbidden - that’s behind us now. Both of us. I won’t put her in danger like that. And I don’t feel the same way I did when I asked her to marry me. The war has changed things - for both of us, I think.”

“Are you sure, Anakin?”

He nods. “Yes, Master.”

“Then what is it that’s troubling you? I can sense there’s something.”

Standing back up, Anakin tries not to fidget, even as he does it just to get some distance between himself and Obi-Wan. “It’s nothing, really. Should I - report to the Council? Tell them what happened on the mission?”

“I took care of that already. Are you sure you’re well enough to be out of the medbay?”

That makes Anakin laugh, but it sounds hollow. He takes a step towards the door. “I’m fine. Physically, I’m fine. I just feel - foolish, I suppose. I’m sorry, Master, I- acting like that with Grievous. I know I let you down. Even if the other things are alright-”

“Anakin, you’ve never let me down. Not once. Not in all the time that I’ve known you.” Obi-Wan’s passion surprises Anakin. He looks up, and Obi-Wan’s eyes reflect the tone of his voice. He stands in front of Anakin, just inches away, looking up at him. “You can talk to me. I’m sorry that I ever made you think that you couldn’t.”

“Obi-Wan,” Anakin says, overwhelmed enough to drop his frequent use of his Master’s title. It makes Obi-Wan step closer, and he places a hand on Anakin’s face, thumb brushing gently over the scar right by Anakin’s eye. Anakin ducks his head, and closes his eyes, leaning into the touch. He sighs. “I’ll do better next time.”

“I know you will. That’s not in question. But you’re allowed to make mistakes. I am not disappointed in you. You’ve worked so hard, and you’ve come such a long way since you started your training. I believe we both have. You’ve taught me a great number of things.”

Anakin huffs out a laugh, finally. “And what have I taught you? How to stop getting sick after you fly?”

“To stop being so afraid of taking a risk. To - feel excitement and passion and that they aren’t only weaknesses - something Qui-Gonn tried to teach me and failed, because I was too young to listen. The way you love our work, the way you love people, and droids - the Force is in all things, and it’s like you feel it in each of them, Anakin. It’s truly inspiring.”

Obi-Wan’s words are enough to shock Anakin into pulling back - just enough to see his face. His expression, though, is open and genuine, and his hand doesn’t leave Anakin’s face.

“Do you - mean that?”

“Though I wonder sometimes if you really need any more confidence, yes, Anakin. Of course I do.” Obi-Wan smiles at him again, and his hand finally falls to Anakin’s shoulder.

“Thank you, Master. That - means a lot to me.”

“I should have told you sooner. Just another way it seems I’ve been remiss.”

“I wish you’d stop saying that,” Anakin says, finally reaching out and placing his own hands on Obi-Wan’s shoulders, keeping him close. “You never failed me. You’ve never let me down. You saying it doesn’t make it any more true. Padmé wouldn’t marry me, and I’ve had feelings for other people, and I can’t act on them because they’re not interested either - I haven’t missed anything because of what I thought was forbidden. It’s good to know that you believe in me, but it’s not as if you’re telling me too late. I’m still not even a Jedi Master.”

Obi-Wan’s expression changes. “You’ve - have you had other relationships, then?”

“No, Master, that’s what I was saying. I’ve had feelings, and I’m still very bad at meditating them away, however I’m supposed to do that, but all I can do is meditate, because those feelings aren’t returned.” He has to let go of Obi-Wan, then. He has his shields up, and he’s trying to stay calm, but it’s difficult to say those things to Obi-Wan’s face.

“I find it difficult to believe anyone could say no to you, Anakin.”

Anakin laughs, a little strangled. “Funny, coming from you.”

“I could when I was your teacher - I find recently I’ve become increasingly bad at it. At the very least, if I say no, you seem to know I don’t mean it.”

“I know when you mean it, Master,” Anakin says, looking towards the door. “I have a feeling I should - go and check on R2.”

“Right now?”

“Maybe tune up my hand. We might get called out again.”

“Master Windu and Master Yoda assured me we have at least a week - and you were only out for a day. They may not even know you’re awake yet. You don’t have to rush off. I- unless, that is, you have someone else to see. I don’t mean to keep you here, Anakin.”

Something about the tone of Obi-Wan’s voice makes Anakin turn back again. “Who else would I go to see? Padmé saw me in the medbay. I suppose I could go and speak to the Chancellor but I’m just - tired, Master.”

If anything, Obi-Wan looks more sheepish. “Of course. You should get some rest.”

“Why are you acting so strange?” Anakin asks, finally able to recognize that there’s something beyond his own distress. “It’s not just me. You’re upset about something.”

“Anakin-”

“Don’t Anakin me. I can feel it, too. I’m fine, so you can’t be worried anymore. Does the Council know about Padmé? Did they tell you something? Are you - are you lying about something?”

“Anakin. Why would I be lying?” Obi-Wan asks, obviously bothered.

Reaching up, Anakin runs a hand through his own hair and makes a frustrated sound. “I don’t know! I don’t understand why you’re not angry with me, and I don’t understand why you’re acting so strange, and you keep trying to shove me off on people like I’m some kind of burden, but I try to leave and you get upset - I don’t understand you! I keep trying, but it’s impossible!”

“Shove you off? Anakin, I want you to be happy, and if there’s someone you’d be happy with-”

“What if it’s you?” Just like in his fight with Grievous, Anakin acts on instinct. Foolish, ridiculous instinct. He closes his eyes shut, and puts up his shields, and tries to do what he can to hide without running out of the room.

“What?” There’s something strange in Obi-Wan’s voice. Something that Anakin can’t read.

“I didn’t - I didn’t mean to say that. I’m sorry, Master. Forgive me.”

“Anakin,” Obi-Wan says, softly. Almost sadly.

“I don’t need your pity,” Anakin grits out.

“I can’t tell what you want me to do when you’re blocking me out like that.”

“Good. Stop trying to figure it out. Leave me alone.”

“...I’ve misunderstood, then. That… makes a great deal more sense. You can go back to your quarters, Anakin, I won’t - I won’t stop you. I wouldn’t. I- Shit.”

Anakin never hears Obi-Wan curse outside of battle, and never in Basic. He opens his eyes, surprised. Obi-Wan is still there, pacing back and forth, his hair all a mess. It’s obvious he’s upset again - even more so, now. “Are you - it’s not possible to renounce someone as your apprentice, is there? You wouldn’t do that, would you?” he asks, suddenly afraid of the consequences of what he’s let slip.

Obi-Wan stops pacing. “What?”

“You wouldn’t - we’ll still work together, won’t we? It’ll be alright?”

“...If you want to, of course. I meant what I said before, and I feel honored to fight at your side. But that’s entirely up to you. I understand if you’d rather - I mean there are other Masters-”

“No. No. I want to be able to keep you safe. I’ll do better next time - I won’t let what happened with Grievous happen again.”

“What does that have to do with my-” Obi-Wan cuts himself off, his brow furrowed in thought. “Anakin, you said before - are you saying you slipped not because he threatened Padmé, but because he threatened me?”

Anakin flushes, both with embarrassment and anger. His shields start to slip. He’s emotional and starting to feel exhausted again, after everything he’s been through. “I told you, it won’t happen again. I promise. I know that you don’t - that you wouldn’t. I’ll get better at meditating, and maybe - maybe in time, it will pass, just like Padmé.”

“Anakin, look at me,” Obi-Wan says gently. His hands come up to cradle Anakin’s face, and they’re cool against Anakin’s skin. “Open your eyes. Please.”

So Anakin does. Obi-Wan is right in front of him again, eyes open and grey in the dimmer artificial light of his quarters. “Master. I told you, I don’t want-”

“My pity. It isn’t pity, Anakin. Relax. Just for a moment. Listen.” Leaning closer, Obi-Wan closes his eyes and presses his forehead against Anakin’s.

Anakin is helpless to do anything but close his own eyes and take a deep breath. He lets down his shields.

For once, Obi-Wan’s own shields have been lowered as well. And there, when Anakin reaches out, he doesn’t feel pity or disappointment or disapproval or disgust or any of the things he had expected for so long. Instead, he feels warmth and fondness - and love.

He opens his eyes and grabs Obi-Wan’s wrists, keeping him close. “Obi-Wan, I- really?”

“Yes, dear one,” Obi-Wan says softly - and Anakin is helpless, then, to do anything but lean forward and kiss him.

Still, some part of Anakin expects Obi-Wan to push him away, to tell him they can’t do this. Some other part of him expects to wake up back in the medbay, to find out all of this has been some kind of desperate dream.

Instead, Obi-Wan kisses him back. Their lips move together, each damp press in perfect sync, the angle just right, just the way they fly together and fight together and understand each other without words. It lights up all through Anakin, practically sparking in his blood. He can have this, and it’s real. He can feel it.

He moves his hands to Obi-Wan’s shoulders and pulls him closer, and Obi-Wan comes willingly, moving one of his hands to the back of Anakin’s head, pulling him down into the kiss, keeping him pressed close as they separate to breathe and then fall back together.

Finally, Anakin pulls back, panting heavily, and presses his face against Obi-Wan’s neck, feeling the familiar scratch of his beard against his cheek. “Master,” he says, overwhelmed and unsure of where to start.

“It might be a bit strange if you do keep calling me that,” Obi-Wan tells him.

“Habit. Sorry. Don’t think I can stop.”

Obi-Wan laughs, just a little huff, more breath than sound. “I suppose I’m used to it. Might be stranger if you did stop completely. Just - reminds me of all the reasons I told myself this couldn’t happen for so long.”

That makes Anakin pull back, just to look down into Obi-Wan’s eyes properly again. “How- how long?”

“Oh.” Obi-Wan gets flustered. “Well, I - we could ignore I said that.”

“I loved you before I ever saw Padmé again. But I thought - I knew you’d tell me no.”

That makes Obi-Wan smile again, something small and nearly regretful. “Well in that case don’t ignore it. I fought it for a long time, but it’s been undeniable ever since you passed your trials. As soon as you weren’t my student anymore - even a little bit before, when I knew your time as my padawan was reaching its end. But your feelings for Padmé were quite obvious. And I am accustomed to unrequited feelings myself.”

“Who else?” Anakin asks, open and curious.

“Maybe some other time, when you’re not so tired.” Obi-Wan kisses him again, a gentle press to the corner of his mouth. Anakin moves and kisses him again, properly, lingering.

“Fine. Can I stay here?”

“If you’d like.”

Anakin smiles, chuckling as he brushes his nose against Obi-Wan’s. “You really can’t say no to me, can you?”

“Unfortunately I feel you’ll only be more persuasive than ever, now.”

“Now that I know you can be persuaded? That’s probably true.”

Sighing, Obi-Wan kisses Anakin once more, like he can’t stop himself, or just doesn’t want to, and then he grabs Anakin’s hand, lacing their fingers together. “Come on, then. Let’s get some rest before you talk me into something else.”

“I have some ideas,” Anakin mutters quietly.

“Force sake, Anakin, I know you’re going to be insufferable but please get some rest first so I can worry about you less.”

“Yes, Master,” Anakin says with just a hint of sarcasm, pressing close behind Obi-Wan and kissing just behind his ear. He feels Obi-Wan pause for a moment, though, before he moves forward again, and he raises his eyebrows. “Did you ask me to stop saying that because you like it too much?”

“That’s hardly fair, I think I’d like anything if you said it like that.”

Anakin laughs, moving into Obi-Wan’s room and falling back onto the bed. He realizes, then, how happy he is. How much better he feels - like some kind of weight has been lifted. Like all the darkness he’s been afraid of is suddenly absent, at least for a moment.

Obi-Wan looks down at him, watching him lie down, and the look in his eyes is almost overwhelming. He’s so obviously fond, his lips quirked up at one side, his eyes like a light in the dim room. His hair is even messier now, and it falls into his eyes as he tilts his head down, and Anakin loves him more than he knows how to express.

“I love you,” he says aloud, still feeling it pales in comparison to expressing the true depth of what he’s feeling.

“And I love you, Anakin,” Obi-Wan says, shrugging out of his robe and tunic as he climbs into bed beside Anakin. He presses one last kiss to Anakin’s temple and then settles in, adjusting to get comfortable. “Now get some rest. I think we both need it.”

“Mm,” Anakin says back. He meant to say something else, but with the warmth of Obi-Wan beside him, and around him, and in the dim light of the room, and with so much to look forward to when he wakes - Anakin falls easily into peaceful sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> so this is my first anakin/obi-wan fic ever!!!! i fell headfirst back into the prequels recently and couldn't stop myself??? so here we are. if you liked it let me know!! i have a couple of other fics i'm writing and if people like this one i'll feel more motivated to publish more

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[podfic] feeling takes you hostage](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22405426) by [orphan_account](https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account)




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